Making the best of the worst

My default state of being is one of (possibly annoying) positivity and optimism. Most of the time, I genuinely believe that things will work out just fine. And usually, they do!

Obviously, Marrakesh’s life did not go according to plan. That’s upsetting, and it’s been hard for me to find the upside of this situation. I know I don’t have to find positives- no one’s asking me to- but it’s something I can’t help trying to do.

The bright spot in this mess is Gina. Gina’s healthy and well. She doesn’t seem unduly distressed. Over the weekend, she spent some time whinnying and pacing but she’s settled back in with Moe and Candy without a lot of fuss. (We’ll see how Candy handles Gina’s return.) Gina looks like a feral broodmare right now. She’s on the thin side, has long, chipped hooves, and the length of her mane makes me cringe. That’s all easily fixed, though. A few weeks of extra feed, a visit from the farrier, and an appointment with the pulling comb will have her looking like her normal self again.

A healthy and well Gina means I’ll have my foxhunting partner back this season. That’s something I’m definitely looking forward to! Candy still has a ways to go before she’ll be a reliable foxhunter, and I didn’t relish the thought of taking Moe. (I think he’d be fine; I think I’d end every hunt completely exhausted!) Gina is a wonderful, enjoyable hunter.

I’m also looking forward to a decrease in veterinary spending. No expense was spared on Marrakesh, and that would have continued to be the case had he lived. That was fine, but I’m a little relieved I won’t continue to receive bills from the clinic that require extra postage because they’re so thick. Of course, horses continuously find new and clever ways to become ill or injured, but my three have always been pretty low maintenance. Knock on wood.

It’s also a relief to stop worrying. The worst has happened. The other shoe has dropped. I don’t have to feel sick with anxiety or dread a phone call from the vet. I can resume my normal state of low-level horse-centric anxiety, which largely consists of panicking that Moe is dead when he’s merely napping.

Of course, I’d rather have a healthy foal than any of that, but there’s no use wishing for something that can’t be. I’ll keep looking to the future with as much optimism as I usually do. Everything will be fine, I’m sure.

13 Replies to “Making the best of the worst”

  1. The point about the worst happening and not having to worry so much about it anymore is so, so spot on! Being able to release that anxiety is such a big relief. I, too, believe everything will be fine no matter what happens so this all resounds with me so much. So many hugs to you, lady.

  2. I think your focus on the positives and the things you can control is very inspiring. I hope you and Gina have a blast foxhunting together <3

  3. Big hugs and positive vibes.

  4. Allie-Rocking E Cowgirl says: Reply

    I have felt that sick anxious feeling many times, and sometimes the relief is a blessed release. He’s not in pain, and just like you said in your post yesterday, he tried his very best. And so did YOU. Way more than most people, in fact. I, for one, love the kind of positivity you possess. It’s an excellent trait.

  5. I’m glad you’re able to find the positives in a crappy situation. You’ll have a little Marrakesh sized something missing, but everything else will be ok.

  6. A resolution, good or bad, does seem to take the weight off the shoulders. Lots of love to you and your herd.

  7. my heart is sick for you. i’m glad that you’re able to look forward and see a return to normalcy, tho, even if right now things are very, very sad.

  8. What a great outlook! I admire you for it. It helps to have the peace of mind that you did try everything and the vets were 100% behind your decision. But geez, sometimes life sucks and I’m still so sad for you.

  9. What a great outlook! I admire you for it. It helps to have the peace of mind that you did try everything and the vets were 100% behind your decision. But geez, sometimes life sucks and I’m still so sad for you.

  10. Sometimes all we can do it keep on keeping on. I admire you for looking for any shred of positivity in a shitty situation!

  11. I look forward to hunting with you and Gina.

  12. Good for you. I am the same way in looking for the positives. Or at least the okay-est part of a situation.
    It still sucks. But your positivity is really admirable.

  13. Dr Metcalf and I were discussing on Tuesday how you are the strongest most positive person we know. Love you Steph!!

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